うろたどな

"These fragments I have shored against my ruins."

博論をあらかた書き終えてやっと内部分裂に気づく

At the last stage of writing/editing, I'm dismayed to realize, finally, that multiple projects are going on in my drafts and they should have been pursued separately. Now it's clear that my drafts need be sorted out into two groups, one for anarchist(ic) theories of reading and hermeneutics and the other for historiographical explorations of late-nineteenth-century anarchisms, but due to the lack of time and energy--and deterioration of my mental health--the final product could not be a happy synthesis of these two projects; at best, it would be an awkward juxtaposition of them, though I'm now trying to reduce the awkwardness as much as I can. Anyway, the more I do editing--I don't read almost nothing other than my own sentences these days--the more inclined I am to think that the dissertation is not a symphony with organically unified movements, like Beethoven's or Brahms', but rather a suite with disparate pieces set in different keys and written in different styles, like Bach's Orchestra Suites or Ravel's orchestral works.